I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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