that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
