what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
