It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
