I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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