just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
