I want to walk on stilts...naked
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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