Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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