She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
