A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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