Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
