Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
