Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
