Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just had sex on a roof
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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