college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
