Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
