i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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