That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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