I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
How naked do you want me to be?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
