I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just had sex bonerless
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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