Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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