found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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