K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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