Those balls look pretty dangerous.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
