I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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