guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
