mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
smell my finger.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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