My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
