does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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