I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
