and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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