Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I want her autograph on my taint
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
