"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
