You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
