So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
