Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He better not be in your backpack
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
