I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
