So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
