so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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