Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
