he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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