I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
