420 ftw
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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