my vag is so smooth its legendary
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
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