Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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