erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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