Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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