I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
