i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
