it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
