worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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