You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
